What to expect, when you re expecting
by nevillehannah1802
Summary: I was NOT satisfied with how 7x12 ended. This is my version of the continuation of this episode. AU of course and Slexie mixed with a bit Calzona and MerDer all the way
1. Chapter 1

Mark Sloan came home distraught that night. Sure, he now had a baby on the way, and he´d raise him or her with his best friend and her girlfriend, and he was extremely happy at the chance to be a real father this time around, to really be involved in everything regarding his child. But he couldn´t help but being sad, but being miserable at the same time. He wanted this baby, he really, really did, but he wanted to raise this baby not only with Callie and _her_ girlfriend, but with _his own_ girlfriend, with Lexie, too. But he knew that it wasn´t a possibility. And that was his own fault, he knew that, too.

It was plain and simple: he just shouldn´t have slept with Callie. That was it. Sure, then Callie wouldn´t be pregnant with his baby, but he would still have the love of his life, and in a few years, they would´ve had kids, too.

Now he had the baby, but he didn´t have the possibility to be with Lexie ever again, because he had messed up. Again. God, what was it with him? And then he had told her in the absolutely worst way possible, by letting her guess it and not being straight forwarded with the news. Maybe then he would´ve had a chance to talk to her, to explain himself, to beg her for forgiveness. But that probably wouldn´t have helped either, he guessed. And sadly, he didn´t have the time to worry about the "what-if"´s. It would only make him more miserable than he was already, as if that was even possible. Which he doubted, to be honest. But anyways, now he had to focuse on Callie´s pregnancy and after that he would focuse on his child. Hopefully that would distract him and numb the pain of his broken heart. Even though he doubted _that_ , too.

But he tried not to think about Lexie too much as he slipped out of his leather jacket and his boots before setting down his keys on the kitchen counter and making his way to his bedroom. Of course, he failed told himself once again that he now had to focuse his attention on Callie and their...

Ok. Maybe right now he had to focuse on Lexie.

Who was lying in the bed.

In _his_ bed.

 _Lexie._ Was. In. _HIS. BED._

Maybe...ok...maybe he did have a minimal chance at reconcilisation with his...with Lexie. He dared to smile just a tiny bit and allowed himself to hope against hope for a future with Lexie in it.

He changed as quitely as humanly possible, as to not wake her up, before slowly sinking down on his side of the bed. Which maybe was a mistake, he realized a moment later. Because the second the matress shifted under his weight, Lexie began to stir. mark bit the inside of his cheek and let out an under his breath cursed "Crap!", before Lexie opened her eyes and looked directly into his. Which meant, he was looking into her eyes, too. And what he saw in them broke his already unstable heart into a billion of tiny pieces. Because he knew exactly what. or better who, had caused the tears and the look of intense hurt and betryal in them. It was himself. Him and his stupid, hypocratic, moronic, idiotic, gitish, prattish actions. Lexie blinked a few times, before sitting up in the bed and sniffling quietly. She wiped a tear out of her eye and Mark began to speak:

"Lexie, I-", but she interrupted him:

"Can...can I ask you a question? Uh...two actually."

Her tired voice was laced with utter defeat and sadness. Mark´s _already_ shattered heart broke once again for her.

"Of course you can ask me, Lexie. Anything. You...you can scream and yell at me, or you can hit me, if you want. Just, please, do _something._ I don´t care how you react. Just, please, _do_ react."

She sat up a little straighter, sniffled again, before asking with a small voice:

"Do...do you promise...do you promise me, right here and right now, to never ever ever in your life sleep with a woman that isn´t me, again? I mean-"

"I promise to never ever ever do that again, Lexie. Never again.", he interrupted her in a voice, that he prayed was convincing. Because he meant what he said. Every single word of it. If there was a chance at a future with her and she only wanted him to promise her not to sleep with anybody while she learned to trust him again, then he would. No matter how long it took her to do so. As long as there was a chance, hewould wait. Lexie nodded quietly and her eyes blaazed over with something Mark couldn´t quite recognize. She took a deep breath and said:

"Mark, I...I want to talk about this, I do. But...right now I just want to sleep. My...my day was bad enough today and i haven´t really slept last night-"

"I´m sorry.", Mark rasped an Lexie gave him just the idea of a smile before continueing:

"I...I´m just really tired and I only want to sleep like a week. We...we both have the day off tomorrow, I asked the Chief and we can go through all of this then, because it´s better in bright daylight than at night. So...I mean...it´s not...not a problem if you don´t want to, I can just do it instead...but...could you please sleep on the couch tonight? I...I just need another night alone...I´m sorry. It...It´ll be just tonight, I promise. But I need tonight to myself."

She looked up at him with pleading eyes, underlining how much she needed this night alone and he felt his eyes brimming with tears, because he was the hypocrite to hurt her yet again. The look in her eyes was his fault and just days before he´d promised himself he´d kill the one who ever would cause her pain that intense. How ironical.

"Lexie", he began, "I´ll sleep on the couch for the next year if you want me to and if it means there is even the slightest chance that you won´t leave me, ok? I´ll do everything, absolutely everything for you. And if you only want me to sleep on the couch and to not have sex, then I will gladly do that. Because I love you, okay? I love you, Alexandra Caroline Grey. and I pray, I pray, that one day you will love and trust me again, too."

Lexie was crying in earnest by now and Mark scooted over to her to wipe the tears away and cradle her into his arms. Her tears soaked his shirt and they stayed like that, with his arms around her small body frame, for a while. After she composed herself a bit she lifted her head from his shoulder and he wiped the tear streaks from her cheeks.

She was thankful that she hadn´t had any make-up on, otherwise her cheeks would be stained black now and there would probably be mascara and eyeliner puddles under her eyes and on his shirt. As if she didn´t look horrible enough as it was.

"I´m sorry, I´m sorry, I´m sorry, Lexie. I´m so unbelievably sorry, sweetheart. I never wanted to hurt you. And...and if you decide, that maybe, maybe you´ll stick around at least for a little while, I promise, it won´t be the way it was like with Sloan."

Tears were threatening to fall out of both their eyes as they locked their gazes. Lexie sniffled againa and nodded:

"I know. But...let´s talk about it tomorrow."

Mark nodded and whispered a "Good Night", before standing up and heading toward sthe living room of his apartment. He was already in the door of his bedroom, when he heard exie calling him. He turned around and she said:

"I love you. Even though I really, really hate you right now, I still love you. I just thought you should know that."

mark swallowed the lmp in his throat:

" I love you, too, Lexie. Please don´t ever forget that even for just a second."

"Good night, Mark." she whispered and they both went t olay down. Lexie on her side of his bed, Mark on the couch.


	2. Chapter 2

When Lexie woke up the next morning, she could smell Mark´s blueberry pancakes almost immediately. She had to fight a smile, because Mark still knew the were her favourite.

That was only when she realized, why his side of the bed was cold. Mark had selpt on the coch that night, because Callie was pregnant.

Pregnant with his baby.

Lexie had the sudden urge to start sobbing ncontrolably, but could fight it, at least for the moment. She was sure she would be crying soon enough, and she was dreading the conversation, that she knew was inevitable, if they would even attempt at mking it work. It being their relationship. And she really wanted it to work.

She was not at all ready to be a mother or whatever she would eventually be to this baby. But she loved Mark so much, it almost hurt and now there was a baby on the way.

A baby that was his but not hers.

But it woud still be half him. And she was practically bound to love someone, whoshared half of his DNA.

Ok, it hadn´t quite worked like that with Sloan, but Mark himself had said that she came after her mother.

And if this child would come after its mother, Lexie at least wouldnd´t have to worry, because Lexie liked Callie. She could even say that Callie was one of her friends. Even though, right now, Lexie hated her.

Hated her, because Callie was the one carrying Mark´s baby instead of Lexie herself. But she hated Mark right now, too, even though she was ridiculously in love with him, so it´d be okay to hate Callie for a while, too, she reckoned.

So she stood up, went to the bathroom, minded her business and dressed in sweatpants and one of Mark´s old Columbia shirts. After that she wandered into the kitchen, where Mark was occupied with a frying pan and his pancakes. They came to an unspoken agreement, that they´d talk after breakfast, when they hd something in their system and were not completely energyless. Breakfast was uncomfortable but thankfully not completely awkward.

After they put their plates and coffee cups insie of Mark´s dishwasher, they went to sit on the couch side by side, but facing eachother. After a while Mark bega to speak:

"Lexie, you can´t even begin to imagine how sorry I am, that I hurt you again. I didn´t mean to. to be honest, just after we got together, I promised myseld that I wouldn´t let anyone hurt you ever again. And just then it´s me who is hurting you so badly. m so, so sorry and I would completely understand if you´d run for the hills right now. I actually thought you did, yesterday. And I wouldn´t hold it against you at all if you will now."

Lexie wiped a few tears that had escaped from her eyes away, then nodded and whisered more to herself than to Mark:

"So you want me to leave. I understad. I´m sorry I stole your time and made you sleep on the couch, Mark."

"What?!", Mark shouted incredulously.

"NO! I DON´T want you to leave!Not at all. Never. I...I just said that I´d understand it and not hold it against you if you did, even though it´d break my heart, but `d understand, because it´s my fault. Again. So I do NOT want you to leave, I DON´T want you to run for the hills, to run away from this, from me. Never, Lexie. Never."

As he grew closer to the end of his speech, Mark´s voice grew quiter and it cracked. Lexie breathed a sigh of relief at his words:

"Mark, then what _do_ you want? Do you epect me to just be okay with it, or do I get a say in the matter?"

Marj replied immediately, looking straight into her eyes:

" Lexie, it doesn´t matter what I want. It´s your decision. But I want you, Lexie. I want you. And...and I want this baby, too. And Callie and Arizona, they do, too, so Callie won´t abort it. And I don´t expect you to just...to just go along with everything, you will have a say in absolutely everything regarding this baby. If you want to. And I don´t want you to do anything that you don´t want to do. I know, that you don´t want kids, so if you decide to...to give me a chance, to give _us_ a chance, then you can be as involved as you want. You can...you can just be Daddy´s girlfriend, or the baby´s stepmom, or like Arizona. It´s your decision. and I want you to at least give us, me and you and this baby, a shot, so I can prove to you that it´s worth it."

He looked at her with pleading eyes and she wiped a tear from his cheek. After a momebbt she started:

" Mark...I...I have to say something and I don´t want you to interrupt me, because I don´t think I can get it all out if you do, ok? I...I´m scared, I´m really, really fucking scared.i´m so not ready for a baby, and i`m extremely terrified taht I´ll mess this child up, so it´ll be just as screwed up as I am. But, I think that´s normal, because I´m a Grey, so...yeah. So like I said, I´m scared. That you´ll realize you don´t need me anymore after it´s born...don´t interrupt...or that I´ll drop the child or something like this and you´ll all hate me then. But..but I´M more scared of a future without you. I...yesterday I heard some of the nursesgossip about us breaking up again soo, and which one of them you were going to sleep with first. And while I´m really scared of this whole baby-with-four-parents-and-three-mommie-situation, I´m more scared of having to move on from you, of seeing _you_ move on from _me._ Don´t interrupt, Mark. So...I...I am willing to raise this baby with you and Callie and Arizona. On...on one condition: I´m going to be involved. I get a say in this just as much as Arizna does. I...if you want to, I can just be Daddy´s girllfriend, or I can be the stepmom, or I can be like the third mom. I´d be happy with all of this, even though I think the ast option is the best. I mean, but that decision ist totally up to you, so...But I want to be involved. So that the child knows me, so that it doesn´t hate me later on, because I´m stealing its daddy or something. I want it to know know me from the moment it´s born. I mean...obviously I don´t have to be in the room when Callie gives birth, if she doesn´t want me to. But...I...I totally could...I mean , that´s not the problem. So I´ll be as involved as you want me to, but I at least want this child to know me, because I´ll be there its entire life. And I know I´m being a horrible mum or stepmum or whatever right now, because I´m calling it _it_ , but I don´t want it to think that I prefer one thing ove-"

"Lexie, are you saying that you´re in? You know, because you´re rambling right now and speaking really fast, and if I´m mitaken..."

Mark´s voice cracked and he trailed off. He couldn´t go on. He couldn´t even think about what was going to happen if he got her rambling wrong.

Lexie looked up at him startled and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. She thought she´d been pretty clear, even though she had just been rambling at the end, but she was a Grey after all, and he should´ve grown accustomed to her occasional ramblings.

"You´re not. Mistaken, that is. I´m in. I´m all in for as long as you want me to be. But...I still have to figure out how to trust you again completely. I love you. I´m so in love with you it´s ridiculous, Mark. But I´m still so incredibly mad at you. I believe you when you say that it was be fore we got back together. I know you wouldn´t cheat on me. But I have to ask: When did you sleep with Callie? I...I just have to know."

Mark ran his hand through his greying hair. He didn´t quite know if he should let himslef feel the relief flooding his body, because this question could blo it all up again in just a nanosecond. He took a deep breath before answering warily:

"It was two nights before we got back together."

he looked down in his lap, ashamed of himself.

Lexie swallowed the rapidly forming lump down her throat and took his hand into hers, making him look up into her eyes.

"Ok", she said, "ok. I...ok. It´s...it´s...fine...I guess. Yeah...fine."

She choked and let out a little sob. Mark moved fast to wrap his arms around her shaking form. He let her sob into him yet again, while he himself shed a few tears as well. It killed him to see her suffer because of him. It literally killed him inside out. Lexie´s arms tightenedaround his shoulders, while she desperately tried to stop crying, but ended up only doing it more than before.

"I´m sorry", Mark whispered hoarsely and broken into her hair.

She just nodded to let him know that she´d heard him, she wasn´t able to do anything besides that. After nearly 15 minutes of broken sobbing, Lexie calmed down a bit and 5 minutes later she was just occasionally sniffling, before she quited down completely.

As soon as she did, Mark loosened his grip arounf her body, but she only clinged to his shoulders harder, so that he wouldn´t move away from her. He looked down at her but could only see her dark brown hair. She pressed her face into the napeof his neck, so he wrapped his arms around her again. They stayed like this for a few more minutes, before she looked up and told him:

"Ok...ok. So, it´s settled. Can we...can we just spend our day off here? Just...watching crappy movies and eating take out? It´s...can we just go back to normal? I know that nothing is really normal right now, far from it. But I don´t thnk we should worry about that now. Is that fine with you?"

He smiled a little a her:

"That is more than fine with me. I love you so much, Lexie, you cannot imagine."


End file.
